Formation and Its Challenges Today
A Reflection on
Formation: The Journey of Becoming
Introduction
What
is Religious Formation?” (Vatican Documents)
Key
Principles from Vatican Documents
Renewal
and Adaptation
Stakeholders
in Formation
Stages
of Formation
Human
Formation
The
Three Goals of Religious Life
Aspects
of Integral Formation
Qualities
of a Good Formator
A
Healthy Atmosphere
Lessons
from Experience
Tips
for Formators
“Showing
their true colours”?
Conclusion
I stand before you, both as a person formed and as a formator. I myself was a Formee for about 13 years in seminary formation, under different Rectors, Seminary staff, Professors, and countless others who shaped my life. It was a period of intense learning and profound challenges. Looking back, I can say with conviction: “I am what I am today because of my seminary formation.” The Seminary formation provided countless opportunities for my holistic growth, nurtured by fathers who were, at different times, caring, strict, and deeply loving.
At the same time, we must acknowledge that our experience is not always positive! We might recall the period with a sense of loss—a feeling that youth was “wasted,” that practical, useful skills were neglected. We might remember teaching that felt poorly delivered, irrelevant, or too rigid, allowing little room for critical questioning. Furthermore, instances of perceived partiality or injustice can leave lasting scars.
These varied recollections lead us to a critical realization: our religious formation can either be a time of fantastic personal growth and deepening vocation, or it can be perceived as a costly, ill-conceived setting resulting in poorly managed training—a huge waste of time and resources.
Following my own journey of being formed, I have now spent seven years in the ministry of formation itself. My roles have included Rector, Vice Rector, Administrator, staff member, Council in charge of Formation in the Province (for six years), and responsible for the Post-Novitiate program. Furthermore, I have taught in the theology department for almost eleven years.
This experience has crystallized my
central desire: I long to see formees and seminarians flourish in all four
pillars of formation—human, spiritual, intellectual, and pastoral.
However, this aspiration is constantly met with complex challenges—internal and external, personal and communitarian. From the perspective of a formator, I have observed certain struggles that are prevalent today (current Challenges of Formation with my experience):
A Lack of Openness: Formees are often fearful, leading to insincerity, a lack of truthfulness, hiding, and pretending: Presenting an idealized self rather than the real self. Suppressing struggles, doubts, or mistakes, which prevents them from being addressed and healed.
Resistance to Growth: A difficulty in accepting correction positively.
Cultural Shifts: Increased individualism, excessive attachment to family/friendships, and a debilitating attachment to mobile phones.
Impatience with Silence: The interior silence necessary for hearing a deeper call or processing personal issues is seen as a void to be filled, often leading to spiritual dryness or the inability to move past surface-level prayer.
Shallow Knowledge: Access to vast information online can be confused with genuine, integrated knowledge. Formees may struggle to move from information acquisition (intellectual dimension) to wisdom and lived conviction (spiritual and human dimension).
Lack of Resilience and Grit: A culture of minimizing emotional discomfort and quickly pathologizing all distress can lead to an inability to endure the normal, difficult struggles of community life and the inevitable “dark nights” of faith. There is a lower tolerance for the long-haul, non-dramatic aspects of commitment.
Deficient Life Skills: In some cases, formees may enter formation without basic competencies in managing finances, simple household tasks, or healthy conflict resolution, having been over-parented or living in a highly structured environment until entry.
Difficulty with True Authority: Linked to the rejection of correction, many formees view authority figures (formators, superiors) through a lens of suspicion, as a manager or a consultant, rather than a spiritual guide or a father/mother figure. They seek consent, not direction.
These are not judgments, but rather my personal observations that point to the deep challenges in fostering genuine openness and maturity.
How is your experience? Does our formation help to become more mature, more loving, happier, and more God-centered people, more Franciscan (as we are Franciscans)? What do you think of your formation set-up in your province or in the formation house where you are a formator?
What is
Religious Formation?” (Vatican Documents)
Core Elements
and Purpose of Religious Formation
Lumen Gentium(1964), Perfectae Caritatis
(1965), Evangelica Testificatio (1971), Redemptionis Donum (1984), Directives
on Formation in Religious Institutes, Vita Consecrata (1996)
Religious formation is fundamentally an
ongoing, holistic process within religious institutes designed to help members
fully discover, deepen, and live out their specific religious identity and
vocation within the Church. The primary goal of this formation is the
unification of the individual with Christ through the Holy Spirit, leading to
their total consecration and readiness for the common mission of the institute.
To achieve this,
the formation process systematically integrates four essential dimensions:
1. Spiritual:
Cultivating a deep personal relationship with God, prayer life, and the
interior life of grace.
2. Intellectual:
Providing knowledge and understanding of Scripture, Theology, Church teaching,
and the institute's charism.
3. Pastoral:
Preparing members for active participation in the institute's mission and
ministry.
4. Human:
Developing the necessary human virtues, maturity, community skills, and
practical abilities required for religious life.
A crucial component of formation is
helping candidates assimilate the full meaning of their religious profession.
This involves deeply understanding and committing to:
·
Public Vows: Making a public and solemn
commitment to God.
·
Observance of the Evangelical Counsels:
Living the radical call of the Gospel through the three vows:
o Poverty:
Detachment from material possessions and reliance on God.
o Chastity:
Consecrated celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom.
o Obedience:
Submission of one's will to God's will, often mediated through legitimate
superiors and the institute's rule.
· Living in Community: Committing to fraternal life and collaboration as authentic witnesses to Christ in the world.
Key Principles of Religious Formation from Vatican Documents
The Church views religious formation not as a temporary school, but as a lifelong, comprehensive process essential for genuine spiritual and apostolic life.
Nature
and Scope of Formation
-
Necessity and Duration: Formation is
required for both candidates entering religious life and for those
already professed (ongoing formation). It serves as the foundation for
genuine renewal and adaptation in all religious institutes.
- Ultimate Aim: Holistic Integration: The supreme goal is spiritual renewal, fostering personal maturity, and achieving apostolic effectiveness. All of this is built upon the inner assimilation of the institute’s charism and the unity of life centered in Christ.
Foundations and Direction
-
Guiding Values: Formation is firmly founded
on Gospel values and continually oriented by the spiritual vision of the
founder (the institute's unique charism) and the evolving needs of the
Church and society (adaptation).
- The Prophetic Core: Evangelical Counsels: A special emphasis is placed on the practice of the evangelical counsels—poverty, chastity, and obedience. These are to be lived out both individually and in community as prophetic signs to the world and as the radical form of discipleship (following Christ’s example).
Community and Spiritual Life
-
Foundation of Community Life: Community is not
merely grounded in personal compatibility or friendship. Its true basis is
the grace of a common consecration and a shared mission for the
Church. This life is maintained under obedience and guided by the superior’s
mediation of God's will.
- Source of Communion: Frequent participation in the Eucharist (the source and summit of Christian life) and the Sacrament of Reconciliation are highlighted as absolutely central to religious formation, as they are the primary means of nurturing deep communion with God and with the community.
Renewal and Adaptation in Religious Formation
Following the Second Vatican Council
(Vatican II), the approach to religious formation underwent a fundamental
reframing. The focus shifted decisively from a reliance on purely juridical
rules or demanding ascetic regulations towards grounding formation in the
Gospel sources and the specific charism of each religious
community.
To realize this transformation,
religious institutes were explicitly called to renew their constitutions
by implementing the following integrated principles:
-
Interpretation: Constitutions must be
interpreted and applied primarily in light of Scripture and the
institute's role in the ecclesial mission of the Church.
-
Integration: Instituting reforms required integrating
theological and spiritual renewal (a deeper understanding of consecrated
life) with practical reforms (changes to daily life and structures).
-
Communal Participation: Encouraging greater
dialogue, shared responsibility, and participation in communal discernment.
This was especially important in areas of obedience and governance,
shifting away from purely top-down authority to a model based on subsidiarity
and shared spiritual responsibility.
As a result of these shifts,
religious formation is now understood as a holistic process firmly
situated within the Church. Its ultimate purpose is to sustain
consecrated life as a prophetic sign to the world.
This prophetic witness is achieved
through three interconnected elements:
1. Spiritual
Renewal: A deep, personal, and ongoing conversion to Christ.
2. Ecclesial
Mission: Active and relevant service aligned with the needs of the Church
and society.
3. Living the Evangelical Counsels: Authentically witnessing to poverty, chastity, and obedience as a radical choice for the Kingdom.
Stakeholders in Formation
The main agent of religious and priestly formation is the Holy Spirit. It is God who can mould me into the person I am meant to be. How fully this happens will depend on how sincerely I respond to God. God normally acts through people. Just as God did not cook for me or bathe me when I was small, He continues to reach out to me through others. In formation settings, there are, in addition to God, three human agents or stakeholders – the formee, the formators, and the religious order.
I once wrote an article about the
70+20+10 formula. I first heard of this idea while talking with an experienced
and much esteemed my opinion, formation depends seventy percent on the
candidate; I would agree, though I am not sure of the percentages. A good
programme does not necessarily lead to better priests or religious. More
important than programmes are the formators. Most important is the person of
the formee.
What are their roles?
(1) The Formee:
The Church teaches that the main
agent of formation is the formee: “All formation is ultimately a
self-formation. No one can replace us in the responsible freedom that we have
as individual persons.” (Pastores Dabo Vobis, n. 69). This
responsibility should not be assumed by someone else (e.g., by a formator
taking vocational decisions for the formee). What responsibility does the
formee have? I would summarize it with three words: What, Why, How.
What: It is the Formee who must decide
what s/he wants to become. Do I want to become a Franciscan or a Salesian or a
married wo/man? Others should not decide for me, nor pressurize me into
choosing one Franciscan path over another.
Why: Why do I want to become religious and belong to this order? I need to clarify this. Others can help
me, e.g., by asking me questions that clarify my motivation. Many young people
have mixed and inadequate motives at the start and need time and
guidance to clarify why they are choosing a path.
How: How am I using the opportunities I have? Thus, a young religious who says she wants to be a sister, or imitate the saints, but does not spend time in prayer nor studies hard, and seems keener on good food and TV, shows little seriousness about her call.
(2) The Formators:
Our duties and roles as formators can be
summarized in three words: Inspire, Interact, Instruct.
Inspire: The formator is
not merely a lecturer. His or her role is to model the behaviour expected of
the formee. The seminarian or young religious needs to live under the guidance
of adults who are inspiring older brothers/sisters to them! Young people look
for models. They need adults about whom they feel: When I grow up, I want to be
a person like you!
Interact: Formation, like
parenting, is a twenty-four-hour task. You can be a part- time professor; you
cannot be a part-time formator. The formators are with the formees in the
chapel, in the classroom, on the playground, doing manual work, during picnics
or in their sickness and sad moments. Loving (not suspicious) familiarity
breeds confidence that opens hearts and minds. Both learn. Both grow.
Instruct: Teaching is a part of formation ministry, but formation is not limited to the classroom. If we are interested in the integral growth of our formees, there is no limit to what we can teach them – Bible reading, healthy tips, good manners, human relationships, leadership skills, communication, methods of meditation and prayer, good study habits…
The formators can provide opportunities,
can exhort, remind, correct, and listen. They do not have the power to make
anyone a good religious person or priest. The seminary cannot make you good priests.
The one thing formators may do well to keep in mind is this: Their role matters, but is not central. Their impact on the formees is less than that of their families and close friends. What the formators do and say does matter, but they do not have the power to make or shape any human being according to their plans. That is between that person and God, whatever he or she considers deepest and most central.
(3) The Religious Order has the
following three responsibilities: Mission, Members, and Methodology.
Mission: If the
religious Congregation has a gripping and challenging mission, it will attract
idealistic young people. If you are not clear or enthusiastic about your
mission, youngsters will see no point in joining your group.
Members: Inspiring
members are the best advertisement for a religious Congregation.
Methodology: A religious Congregation
/ Province needs a plan of formation, with each stage clearly defined, with its
goals, the subjects to be taught at that stage, etc. Thus, a novice mistress
does not invent the syllabus of the novitiate. She follows the formation plan
of her order. She also knows what the candidate will have covered before
reaching the novitiate, and what she will do after her novitiate. There is a
well-thought-out organic plan of formation, from the recruitment stage to final
vows.
Stages of Formation
Our formation did not begin with the
Candidacy or the novitiate. It began in our families. Hence, we speak of three
stages of formation: Family, Initial Formation, and On-going Formation.
The Family: “My best
spiritual director, both before joining and afterwards, has been my father.
There is nothing I cannot discuss with him.” “My first formation house is me in
my mother’s womb. This is my first formation house.” Our parents and siblings
have influenced us more than our mistress or seminary rector. Our deepest
values, our most touching experiences of tenderness, our most painful hurts,
our understanding of love and of God, the way we smile and laugh, the manner in
which we face illness or hardship… all these core traits were developed in our
families. So, too, some of us have been deeply hurt or neglected in childhood.
Many of our greatest joys and a few of our most painful wounds – both go back
to our early years. Each of us is more a product of our families than of our
religious orders.
Formators need to remember this. The
formee is not a blank slate that we fill with new ideas. No, each of them
comes to us with fifteen or twenty years or more years of experience – years
filled with joys and pains, God-experiences and questions, hardships and
freedom. Some of our most memorable experiences are from our early years.
A wise formator would do well to listen to
a formee, understand these early experiences, and see how they have
moulded the person. We need to help the young person to integrate the
best experiences, get healed of their wounds – many do carry wounds that need
healing! –and question some of the unexamined assumptions of the cultures they
come from (e.g., caste bias).
If the original experiences are not
dealt with, challenged, and integrated healthily, a religious person can learn
all the theory of religious life, but be a caste fanatic or biased against
people from other places or ethnic groups, and repeat oppressive patterns they have
internalized during childhood.
Sr. Teresina, a candidate mistress, realized during group therapy that her mother had a nagging style of child-rearing – and that she herself was repeating the same way with her candidates, always nagging them, and never saying a word of encouragement. Formators need to get to know the formee’s family. Some formators do this systematically, even travelling long distances to do it.
Initial Religious Formation: This is what is
usually meant when people speak of “formation” – the training from recruitment
up to final vows. It can last anything from eight to fifteen years. The main
goal of religious formation is to help a young person become Christ-like.
After all, we do not join religious life to become geography teachers or nurses
or school principals. For doing any of these “jobs,” a person does not need to
join an order or a seminary and spend years in spiritual practice – daily
Eucharist and other prayers, sermons, retreats, spiritual direction, times of
silence.
If the goal is forgotten or is pushed
to the periphery, we will end up with smart and ambitious men and women who
pursue worldly goals. Or we may keep busy with a series of meaningless
activities that fill the day but have no deep formative value.
This was the experience of Christina.
She left a good job and joined the convent, “to get closer to God.” “I found
everything except that,” she wrote. “In fact, already as a young sister, I was
made part of the formation team. I was shocked to see how we waste the time of
our candidates on really silly things – so much attention being given to
preparing flower vases, decorating the house for the superior’s visit or
preparing the notice board. I wondered: Is it for this that we are inviting
young women to join us?”
How do we help the formee to move
towards maturity and holiness? There are no shortcuts. We learn the best
lessons of life by experience and example, not through exhortations.
A formation house must be a setting
where younger people live with persons they can look up to and learn from.
“My seminary was truly a home of love,” Anand, a young priest, told me. “I
would love to meet with my former superiors any time, even now. I wish they
could visit us now and then in our place of ministry, see how we are doing, and
give us guidance.”
For creating a good atmosphere in the formation house, the formators have the main responsibility. Father Peter Brocardo, SDB, a much-esteemed formator based in Rome and spiritual guide to many, would say: “The young have a right to make mistakes. It is we, older people, who should be exemplary.”
Ongoing Formation: The Church
insists much more on ongoing formation than it did earlier. Why? The main
reasons are three.
(1) People live much longer today. A
hundred years ago, the average life span around the world was fifty-three
years. Now it is over seventy.
(2) We know much more about adult
development than earlier. Thus, for instance, we know more about the physical
and psychological effects of menopause or about the needs of seniors.
(3) The world around us changes more
rapidly. Just think of how social media affects us. What we learnt in the
novitiate or seminary twenty or thirty years ago proves inadequate for handling
life today.
Everyone should be given the chance to
attend ongoing formation courses and update themselves professionally. Or else we
stagnate, lose our enthusiasm, or get stuck in the past. India has many centres
offering ongoing formation courses.
One difference between initial and
ongoing formation programmes is this: While the initial formation programme is
largely planned by experts and offered to the formee, it is the individual
religious who needs to take charge of one’s ongoing formation.
The religious order can offer some short
programmes, but it cannot tailor these programmes to each one’s level of
maturity and need.
Albert, a religious brother, found in his forties that he was losing enthusiasm for prayer and for religious life in general. He still believed in religious life, but the old fire was gone. So, too, he was confused about a deep friendship he had with a woman religious. How healthy was it? Was it a sign that he should leave and array? He sought spiritual direction to talk these issues over with someone he trusted. He said later that these spiritual direction meetings helped him profoundly to sort out issues, to grow humanly and spiritually, and find enthusiasm again. This is what I mean by that: while I was not in charge of my novitiate programme, I am in charge of my ongoing formation. It is mostly up to me to find what I need.
Human Formation
Human formation combines several aspects of formation and comprises the following six areas:
(1) Adequate Health and Capacity for
Work
A candidate has to be sufficiently healthy to do all the normal duties without seeking exemptions, eat normal food, and fit in. It also means keeping oneself physically fit, so as not to become a burden for others. Care for one’s physical fitness is not selfish or a fad. Our health is God’s gift, and we need to take reasonable care of it. We do this by eating and exercising healthily, by avoiding addictions, by practicing rules of hygiene, and by having healthy habits of sleep and work. We need to do our part to stay healthy. Manual labour is a part of religious life which all of us (formees and formators) are invited to do!
(2)
Emotional Balance
For success in any area of life,
particularly in leadership roles, emotional maturity matters more than
intellectual brilliance. A person of average intelligence who is emotionally
balanced will do more and better than a cleverer person whose moods and
uncontrolled emotions cause unhappiness, both to the person concerned and to
others. It is by no means sufficient that a future religious or priest learns
much theory in philosophy and theology, or is an eloquent preacher. Not enough
that a sister learns much manual work and keeps the buildings spotlessly clean.
If we give in to uncontrolled anger, we will spoil our lives and relationships.
Jealousy can ruin institutions. Inability to handle grief or moodiness can make
a person a burden in the community.
While we tend to give formees
exhortations (Don’t lose your temper, you must be more cheerful, don’t be
jealous of others, etc.) we seldom offer effective help to the formees in
handling emotions. Or we propose unrealistic ideals as solutions, as if faith alone
will help us master our emotions or those feelings can be ignored. A feeling
will not go away because someone says it is bad (e.g., jealousy). A person will
not become sweet-tempered just by being told to control his temper. A timid
person will not become confident by hearing, ‘Don’t be afraid. No. People need
help to manage emotions.
The main reason why formators are not very helpful in this area is not malice or lack of goodwill. The truth is, the formator has received very little help in this area, and hence does not know how to help. In this way, we can have a priest with advanced degrees who cannot control his temper and hurts people. Or another who destroys someone else’s reputation out of jealousy; or, a sister who is regular for prayer, but very moody, or very harsh with the girls in the kitchen. Many formators in seminaries are professors who can teach several subjects. They may not be mature human beings who have gone through a process of personal discovery and growth, and in a position to understand and help others in their struggles and growth.
(3) Relationships
Most of what we call ministry is about
relationships. See the way Pope Francis has won the hearts of so many, inside
and outside the Church, by the way he relates to people. Good relationships are
not something we put on for effect. They need to come from our hearts. People
can make out whether we are genuine or not. Jesus did not teach us an ethic of
cult, but an ethic of right relationships. Our faith is expressed best in the
way we treat others.
This needs no explanation here. [A
Catholic priest is not a poojari. He is a pastor, someone dedicated to
serving the people. Correct and even devout celebration of the sacraments is
not enough. We need to make God real for people by relating to them lovingly and
humbly.]
In fact, I think that
candidates who repeatedly are a problem in communities, do not relate well, or
treat people arrogantly or harshly, should be asked to leave. Such persons will
do much harm. The quality of our relationships matters much more than raising
and distributing money to the poor, or holding posts, or teaching great
theories. For this, the formation house itself needs to be a happy and loving
place, not one filled with fear or intrigue or politics. Only in loving and
happy settings will people be themselves, learn with their whole heart and
mind, and develop convictions. How we treat each other, how we deal with our
workers or colleagues, with our students and patients, matters. It matters a
lot.
Sadly, we hear of cases where a Formee
or young religious person, who is kind to a poor person (e.g., by giving them
something to eat or talking to them kindly), gets a scolding rather than a word
of appreciation. Or religious who are harsh with students or employees in money
matters. We do not join religious life or the priesthood to make money for our
congregation or diocese, but to be channels of God’s love among people.
There are also cultural elements.
Cultures differ in how people relate and what is seen as proper behaviour. Two
cultures will differ on how people of different age groups relate, or how superiors
deal with Formees, or how men and women relate. Culture itself is an issue to
be discussed responsibly. Multiculturalism is a huge factor in both society and the Church. Some people relate mostly to those from their place, language group,
caste, or tribe. Others really have an open mind. In ministry, some tend to favour
one group over others. Others are comfortable with diversity.
The Gospels are basically counter-cultural. That is, they challenge us to treat everyone as beloved children of God, without dividing people into ‘our people’ and ‘outsiders’ or as higher and lower. This is a thorny issue, as well as a source of scandal, in the Indian church. Formation settings should help the formees to develop and open their hearts and minds, relate to people from different backgrounds, and be willing to work among others different from one’s own background. They need to see this openness in the formators.
(4) Psycho-Sexual Integration
Psycho-Sexual Integration is a huge
topic, and we cannot even touch on the essentials here. The Church expects
priests and religious to be celibate, but does not offer adequate and realistic
training for living a happy and inspiring celibate life in today’s world.
To indicate just one unhealthy sign of
inadequate formation in this area is that sexuality is not something one
discusses in an adult and responsible way, but more a matter for adolescent
jokes and comments. As for women religious, many face real challenges in
celibacy after their final vows, when they are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s,
rather than when they joined or were in initial formation. When in formation, a
good number of women religious do not reveal their struggles or bad experiences
to their formators, for two reasons: the fear of being sent away, and the fear
that what they share will not be kept confidential. So, they keep mum about it,
suffer, and do not grow up in this area, or they tell their confessor or retreat
preacher.
If celibacy is not chosen from the
heart, in response to a God-experience, or is simply seen as a way of getting
work done, we will have unhappy and reluctant celibates, who become
power-hungry and corrupt Church leaders or cranky, hard community members who
are a pain to live with. If you ask young people to join your group, just to
maintain your institutions, they will discover soon enough that, to do the
work, they need neither celibacy nor a spiritual life. Then, gossip and
politics will become the main interests, and commitment to God will be
forgotten. As a sister who came across to her medical colleagues as a happy
nun, said: ‘In every community, there are some celibates and some spinsters.
The celibates are happy; the spinsters are not. The same goes for celibates and
bachelors.
Celibacy makes sense and is a happy
choice if Jesus and his message grip a person, and he/she sees this as one’s
way of living the gospel. To stay celibate just to do some work does not make
sense, and, in most cases, would be an unhappy choice, often leading to double
lives and a bad example. In seminaries and religious formation houses, we need to
provide a more thorough and more realistic formation for celibacy. Other
countries, the United States, for example, started this after they were hit and
shaken by the scandal of sexual abuse of minors by church personnel.
We need to learn, while in formation, to
look at our sexuality with all its implications, see it as a beautiful gift
from God, understand our dreams and struggles, and have people who help us in
this area. Celibacy is not only or mostly about giving up marriage and
abstaining from sexual relationships. It is about integrating, about bringing
into our lives the kind of love, sacrifice, and generosity we have seen in our
parents and married siblings. For this, we need inspiring examples of joyful
and loving celibates.
Formators need to be aware of the sexual
problems of young people. Masturbation is a commonly faced problem, especially
in men’s formation houses. Sexual abuse is an experience many candidates to
convents have suffered before joining; some say more than fifty per cent of the
candidates are young women with such experiences. Pornography is becoming a
huge problem, spreading even to children, because of the Internet and smartphones. It has also affected several priests, seminarians, and religious.
This needs to be faced.
Another area that needs attention is celibate friendships. Healthy friendships between men and women can be a great help for growth; unhealthy relationships do serious harm. We cannot train celibates today by teaching them to avoid others. We need to learn to relate to men and women in healthy ways.
(5) Responsible Use of Freedom
The formators are called to train a group of young people, so that they will choose and do what is right, not only when they are with them, but also when they are more on their own. This question is of particular relevance in diocesan seminaries, since diocesan priests are so much freer after ordination than they ever were in the seminary. A rule of thumb: Do not rule through fear. Win their confidence through genuineness and love. Fear-filled settings will assure external compliance, but it will not last. Once they are free, people will do the opposite.
(6) Contact with Reality
Religious and seminarians, enjoying a cosy life with total final security, can become cut off from the needs and sufferings of people. This can also make us very demanding in matters of food, medical care, accommodation, etc. Hence, formation years should include exposure to the lives of the poor and ministry among them. Overprotection makes people childish and unrealistic. The candidates also must be given some awareness of the political situation of the given country and the region, and instructed to take their duties as citizens seriously.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the following points may be made: a. Human formation is basic, crucial and worth the trouble whether a formee stays or leaves. b. Formation takes place in joyful, genuine and loving settings of mutual trust and respect. c. Example and interaction are its main sources of formation. d. In formation, Jesus is our model, norm, and master. Your founder and other inspiring members can also show the way.
How
Formators Help in Human Formation
Formators contribute to human formation basically by creating the right atmosphere. Creating a happy and loving atmosphere is the formator’s main task. All the rest will depend on that. The atmosphere is made when the formators are genuine, when they accept criticism, when they affirm and encourage, when they give opportunities and demand, when they give helpful evaluation and feedback, and when they do not betray confidences.
Formee
Can Help Himself / Herself
Formees can help themselves when they are honest with themselves, when they can tackle their fears, when they get healed of their past hurts and wounds, when they make themselves fully known to someone, when they live meaningfully, not mechanically, when they take responsibility for themselves, especially for their happiness, and when they face their sexuality.
Training
in Counselling and Use of Psychology
I would consider training in counselling a must in all formators. The formators need to be aware of the church documents on the use of psychology in seminaries. They need to have some knowledge of normal and abnormal psychology, signs of maturity, and immaturity. They also need to be clear about the use, limits, and ethics of the psychological screening of candidates.
The Three Goals of Religious Life
When someone joins a religious order or
seminary, this decision is very different from joining a club or some part-time
activity. One is commitment, even more important than family ties. If so, the
congregation or diocese that welcomes this person has the duty of
helping the candidate seriously to
achieve his/her overall development.
A religious formation house or seminary needs to focus attention on three areas of the life of the candidates who aspire to become members of the community: personal growth, community life, and mission.
Personal Growth
When candidates want to join a religious
community, they and their families have the right to check whether joining this
group will help them grow and become better. Will they be looked after physically,
mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Will they become better and more
mature human beings, or end up immature and silly? Will they become holy priests and religious, or become worldly and corrupt?
While a setting does not have full control of the decisions of a candidate, it can influence him/her a lot. The candidates can become better or worse, more mature or more immature, in a formation house. A study on formees shows that a good number of candidates find themselves more immature than their age group outside. So, too, there are seminarians and religious who find and admit that they were better persons before joining than after joining the community!
Community Life
A candidate gets a sense of belonging
only if he/she experiences a loving community. In community life, we see
whether the great theories we hear in conferences are actually lived in real
life. In fact, the main contribution that the religious make to the world
is not the external works like running schools or hospitals, or being engaged
in social work that we do. For doing that, we do not need to be religious or
priests!
Our main contribution is the quality of our relationships, treating everyone, whatever their social status, income, ethnicity or gender, as God’s beloved children, without prejudice or bigotry. We need to experience this in our community before we preach it to others in ministry.
Mission
The religious come together as a
community, not just to crack jokes or have a good time, but for a serious
and worthwhile mission. A candidate learns the mission of a Congregation,
not from talks about the founder, but by seeing their superiors and
formators live the mission. When the candidate witnesses how their
superiors or novice master or rector live the charism, he/she understands
what the charism and the mission of the congregation is.
These three goals do not develop as parallel lines. At the beginning, it is important to take time and effort to build a loving community. Unless the formees feel at home and feel happy, they will not get a sense of belonging. If they do not feel loved and cared for, they will become cynical about the religious order and the mission. Hence, the formators must become good community builders.
Aspects of
Integral Formation
Integral Formation must really address all the aspects of a person’s life. It includes the following eight areas:
Physical Aspect
(1) Food: learning to eat healthy and balanced meals; (2) Exercise appropriate to one; (3) Sleep: regularity; (4) Hygiene and cleanliness; and (5) Medicine: reasonable care, without being a hypochondriac.
Mental Aspect
(1) Adequate knowledge (Languages, Bible, Religious and Secular subjects); (2) Learning to learn (Study skills, including memory, concentration, reading); (3) Learning to think creatively and critically; (4) Habit of reflection; (5) Habit of reading and reflective writing.
Emotional Aspect
(1) Learning to relate at different levels (intimacy, friendship, kindness & courtesy); (2) Handling one’s emotions (anger, sadness, fear, jealousy, facing criticism); (3) Psycho-sexual maturity: learning to see, and relate to, men and women with warmth, respect and proper boundaries; d money; and (5) Taking decisions
Spiritual Aspect
(1) Acquiring Christ’s values, especially love and forgiveness; (2) Personal integrity (no lying, no cheating, etc.); (3) Justice, including rejection of discrimination; (4) Personal prayer that has an impact on one’s life; and (5) Simplicity of life and detachment from power, pleasure and possessions.
Pastoral Aspect
(1) Compassionate concern for people, especially the poor and the suffering; (2) Readiness to make sacrifices for people; (3) Interest in the mission of the congregation; (4) Effectiveness in working with people; (5) Courtesy and good manners!
Professional Aspect
(1) Qualification/preparation according to the mission: e.g., medical or teaching degree; (2) Preparation for particular tasks and responsibilities: e.g., administration; (3) Readiness to keep learning: e.g., updating courses, reading, seminars; (4) Specialization when necessary for the mission: e.g., Doctorate or MS; (5) Joining and being active in professional bodies…
Socio-Cultural (Context)
(1) Awareness of the context; (2) Realistic exposure in the context; (3) Familiarity with the languages, culture and needs of the area; (4) Critical appropriation of one’s own culture; and (5) Openness to other cultures and groups.
Skills
(1) Speaking: both inter-personal and public; (2) Reading: e.g., how to read a book, a newspaper, etc.; (3) Writing: Good writing is correct, clear, concise, comprehensive, critical and creative; (4) Organizing: e.g., a sports meet, a drama, a feast, a liturgy, a seminar; and (5) Work- related skills: computer-use, musical instruments, driving, first aid, swimming, cooking, art work, minor repairs and maintenance.
The last three (professional training, socio-cultural preparation, and acquiring skills) are not generally considered separate areas of formation. They are elaborations of one’s mental and pastoral formation.
Qualities of a
Good Formator
Here they are the qualities of a
formator, from the most important to the less important ones:
(1) Inspiring Personal Life: Is he/she a
person whom the students can look up to? The necessary qualities include:
honesty, integrity, personal values, prayer life, simple lifestyle, and dedication
to duty.
(2) Team Work: Does s/he work well in a team? A good relationship to others (staff and students) includes: listening, sharing one’s views, supporting as well as challenging others respectfully, accepting criticism, and sharing the common work.
(3) Sound Judgement: As someone
called to assess and train candidates, does this person show sound judgement
regarding persons and situations? Judgement is a combination of common sense
and experience.
(4) Fidelity to the Church: Do this
person’s view and praxis reflect a sound understanding of Church teaching and
fidelity to it?
(5) Enthusiastic Familiarity with the
Charism:
E.g., Does s/he have a right understanding of the (Franciscan spirit and style?
Does s/he look happy to belong to this congregation? Enthusiasm matters more
than theoretical knowledge.
(6) Effective Communication: Can this person
teach and preach well? A formator need not be a scholar or writer but needs to
communicate the essentials to a group of young people clearly.
(7) Intelligence and Academic
Preparation:
This should be adequate for understanding and explaining the subjects to be
taught clearly, correctly, and with some ascendancy/order. A person of average
intelligence and academic achievement who relates well, shows good judgement, and is inspiring is more suited to be a formator than a brilliant academic who
lacks these qualities.
(8) Pastoral Experience: We are
preparing people for ministry, not for scholarship. To do this, the trainers
themselves need to have had some pastoral experience, such as parish ministry, hearing
confessions, counselling youth, ministry among the poor, teaching, caring
for the sick and the elderly, etc. A degree alone is not enough.
(9) Some preparation for this ministry: Some knowledge of theology and scripture, some training in spiritual direction and counselling, study of the congregation’s charism & spirituality, some ways of praying. If someone is assigned for formation work, the person should be given chances to attend at least some short courses. Thus, for instance, a formator with a degree in theology would do well to get some training in counselling and spiritual direction.
A Healthy Atmosphere
The formator’s main responsibility is to
create a good atmosphere. This is the most important factor in the education of
the heart, which is the heart of all education. Unless the heart is formed, as
Pope Francis reminded major superiors, “we will be training little monsters who
will then be in charge of our people!”
How do we prevent that? How do we make sure that the young person entering a religious order or seminary comes out more Christ-like and more deeply human – and able to inspire and lead others? The atmosphere matters very much. It is palpable. Here is how a healthy atmosphere can be described:
(1) Integral: We need to care
for the formee’s all-around growth. We are interested in their bodily health,
mental development, emotional growth, relationships, professional preparation
and spiritual journey.
Formation should not have a one-track
focus.
(2) Joyful: Do the
formators and the students look happy? People grow best in happy settings.
Gloomy settings will also create emotional problems. Whether a candidate stays
or leaves, they should have happy memories of their formative years. I have
found ex-Seminarians speaking of the wonderful time they had in the formation
house, and how they love meeting their former companions and superiors even
now, after decades of separation.
(3) Loving: Are the
relationships based on mutual affection and trust, or on fear? Does the setting
feel “warm” or “cold”? Is there a feeling of unity or division, trust or
suspicion? All of us look for love and grow best when we are loved.
Young people in particular have a
special antenna to sense who loves them and who doesn’t. There are seminaries
called “homes of love” by their alumni priests. A married layman who was a
professor in a major seminary, living with the community for months, told one
of his close friends, “This seminary not only conducts seminars on love; it is
truly a home of love.” Sadly, there are also formation houses marked by fear,
mutual indifference, and power games.
(4) Inspiring: Are the
formators persons whom a young woman or man looks up to? What are the formees
most likely to learn from the way the formators live and relate? A seminarian
said this about one of the priests on the staff. “After meeting him, I believe
more in Jesus. So many things I had heard about Jesus, I see in him.”
(5) Faith-filled: Is there a
palpable sense of being a Christ-centred family, or does it feel worldly? Do
the decisions of the staff and their spontaneous comments reveal a faith-
vision or worldly values, such as power, ambition, or rivalry?
Is a young man/woman entering this community likely to come out a better/holier person, or worse than when they entered? I remember a seminary rector noted for his integrity, who reacted to unfair criticism and calumny this way: “When someone speaks ill of me, I pray extra for that person; so, I have never lost my peace of mind.” This is faith.
Lessons from Experience
(1)
The
formator’s lifestyle has a greater impact than his/her theory and talks. Only
those who lead a simple life will be credible. Leaders are watched, not
listened to!
(2)
Fear-filled
settings are destructive and foster hypocrisy and anger.
(3)
We
need a critical appreciation of our culture. Its good points and its bad
(unchristian) aspects, e.g., India’s religious sense, as also its caste
discrimination and male chauvinism.
(4)
Candidates
learn a lot from the way we treat those who leave. If I stop caring for you
when you leave, it means I never loved you.
(5)
Celibacy
is best safeguarded when the setting is one of love and trust, with sufficient
chances for heterosexual contacts and a normal relationship with one’s family. We
are not, by and large, providing an adequate and realistic formation for
celibacy.
(6)
In
our culture, many will take a long time before they develop enough trust and
courage to come out with their deeper, more painful problems, e.g., sexual
abuse.
(7)
In
some settings (e.g., rural India), it often takes more courage and faith to leave
and face life than to stay in.
(8)
If
the formation setting (or the general atmosphere of the religious congregation)
is not healthy, the candidate becomes worse or less mature.
(9)
In
the training of priests, the academic side is planned well. Emotional
and spiritual formation is often weak. In the training of women religious
and non-clerical orders of men, both these aspects, as well as the intellectual
aspect, are often neglected.
(10) One big danger is that we may recruit and train people to maintain institutions, rather than to get closer to God and bring God’s love to people. If so, people will pick up worldly values and end up uninspired, unhappy, or power-hungry.
Tips for Formators
If you are a formator, please check whether you would make the same suggestions. [If you are a formee, see how far you agree with these suggestions to formators.]
(1) Be genuine: What you are is what you give. Young people can spot genuineness or humbug easily. Speak
what you believe in. If you don’t know something, admit it.
(2) Be open to
corrections and challenge: The young will be open to corrections if they see
that we are open to being challenged too.
(3) Give
opportunities, demand they perform well, and encourage. To tolerate shoddy work
or waste of talent is not kindness; it destroys. Appreciate the work well done.
(4) Confront
calmly and in a caring way, not out of anger. Correct privately and with
respect, rather than wait for official reports and meetings.
(5) Pray for
each one every day, especially for those whom you are finding it hard to reach.
Pray more for the person who hurts you, who seems troublesome, who looks unhappy.
(6) Get
counselling and spiritual direction. The best way to become good in counselling
or spiritual direction is to receive it yourself.
(7) Provide
variety, e.g., in methods of learning, ways of praying, etc. Young people get
bored with sameness. Just to insist that they be present for community prayer
is easy, but it is not enough.
(8) Learn how to
give feedback effectively. Good feedback highlights a person’s good qualities
more than their mistakes.
(9) Get involved
in the neighbourhood, esp. the needs of the poor. Expose formees to the realities
of life outside. Over-protection and narrow settings make people unaware of
people’s problems, fussy about small difficulties, and waste their energy on
gossip and silly concerns.
(10) Make sure that what they tell you in confidence remains confidential. Never betray confidentiality! Several young religious do not trust superiors because what they shared in confidence was revealed to others.
“Showing their
true colours”?
Some comments
heard here and there: “Now s/he shows his/her true colours.” “She was polite
and obedient as a novice. Now she does what she likes.” “He was such a nice
seminarian. See how he has changed after diaconate!”
Have you heard
such comments? If so, here is my answer: If one out of ten behaves differently
after formation, probably that person was not sincere. S/he did what was asked
out of fear or to get ahead. Now that there is no danger of being sent away,
this person shows her wrong motivation – a quest for comfort, money, power, etc.
But if five or six out of ten behave this way, there is something wrong with the formation programme and the selection of formators! If most live in fear and cannot be themselves, the formators are doing a bad job. Change them before they damage more young people!
Conclusion
Formation
ministry – like parenting – is demanding, beautiful and influential. We help
young people to grow up in all areas of life by providing inspiring examples,
by creating a loving, joyful, and challenging atmosphere, and by interacting
with them in simple and caring ways. We become their friends and confidants for
life.
When a religious person or a priest faces a serious personal problem or wants to talk about a deep and
meaningful experience, the people they feel most comfortable with for sharing
are usually their formators. The link of love and trust (with many lovely
memories of praying and working and learning together and much fun and teasing)
remains for life.
Links forged in
joyful sacrifice and tender care do not die easily. And we, formators, have
the joy of seeing those who were once young people in our care go on to doing
great and beautiful things for so many, with edifying dedication and zest. That
really is our reward. It is, as I said, a lot like parenting – a full-time commitment
to give ourselves in love to those whom God entrusts to our care.
Our dream and wish are that they pass the love on, do even better than we did, and do their bit to increase the love and goodness in the world. What else is the purpose of life? And in the process, we, formators, learn much – and grow much, too.
What is Training? And the Challenges in Providing It
The Purpose of Training
·
Training shapes a life, imparts good skills, and
is essential for a person to reach their destination without looking back.
The Preparation of the Formator (Trainer)
·
To be able to provide this kind of training, the
trainers themselves must first be prepared.
·
The formator should not focus only on the
subject matter but also consider the realities of society and the environment
in which the students are receiving the training.
·
Trainers must prepare with greater skill, deeper
understanding, and awareness of the social context.
The Heart and Mindset of the Formator
·
Trainers should not be discouraged or overly
sensitive. They must cultivate a courageous heart with the self-confidence to
face any situation.
·
Walking on the correct path ensures one reaches
the destination safely, without danger.
·
If you travel without a destination, you will
search endlessly and never find it.
·
"You reap what you sow."
Whatever seed you plant will grow into that specific tree, which will bear the
fruit of that seed.
The Spiritual Challenge of the Current Generation
·
To what extent is the current generation aware
of God's path?
·
Among those who know it, how many show a genuine
desire for God's path?
·
How many are truly resolved to walk in the
divine path?
·
Very few people today offer themselves to
God.
·
In the past, dedicating oneself to God,
undergoing training, and becoming an anointed child of God was considered a great
privilege.
·
Today, mobile phones are preventing
people from making such decisions, such dedications, and experiencing such
blessedness.
·
Isn't it strange that babies are being fed only
when a video is shown to them on a phone? Where is the future of the coming
generations headed?
The Blame for the Digital Distraction
·
Whose fault is this? Based on my observation,
this is entirely the parents' fault.
·
Parents are making their children slaves to
mobile phones just to make the task of feeding them in infancy easier.
·
Every family must recognize this mistake and be
careful.
Guiding Future Servants of God
·
Formators must convey to the prospective
servants of God coming for training that life is very precious, and the
decisions they make will deeply influence their lives, especially the decision
to dedicate themselves to God.
·
They must be taught that a good decision
and the commitment to stick to that decision are vital in life.
·
Not everyone is the same. Due to different
upbringings, environments, and family backgrounds, their resolve and
temperaments will vary greatly.
·
Some have patience; others do not. Some have
resolve, others lack it.
·
Some come for training because someone told them
to.
·
Others come due to the compulsion of their
parents to serve God.
·
Some come without a clear opinion, due to their
family's financial or domestic circumstances, simply to receive service training.
The Formator's Role and Approach
·
Teachers must study these individuals
carefully. They need to teach good values to each one in a personalized
manner.
·
Personal talks (individual guidance) are very
necessary. You should not treat everyone the same way.
·
(Analogy of Taste): Just as our facial
expressions change depending on the taste we experience (sour, bitter, astringent,
sweet), showing how many different expressions the tongue/face can display,
trainers must also be highly adaptable.
·
Trainers must act with great wisdom,
patience, and intelligence, guided by the Holy Spirit's leading, towards
the prospective disciples and servants who have come with love, resolve, and
dedication to offer their lives to God.
·
Trainers must thoroughly study every situation.
They must integrate societal awareness with spirituality while giving
training.
·
Everyone has hopes, desires, infatuations, and
emotional ups and downs in life. Formators must teach students to live
within limits—and they must teach this with gentle, encouraging speech,
instilling divine obedience in them.
The Analogy of the Sculptor
·
"Formational teachers must acquire the
skill of a sculptor, who can bring out the intended form from a stone and
breathe life into it. Formators should have absolutely no impatience."
·
The ability to transform a person through good
speech must first be present in the trainer. They must always have a smile
on their face.
·
To enable you to act this way, you also need
the power of God's prayer.
·
Using many examples, trainers must strengthen the
students' decision and teach them about momentary impulses, thoughtless behaviour,
and the commitment to stick to a decision.
·
To become a "sage/wise person", resolve,
patience, and commitment (or discipline/integrity) are essential—this must
be conveyed.
·
They must be told many good, real-life stories
to encourage responsible behaviour.
· Trainers should not have the arrogance, pride, or domineering attitude that comes from knowing they are the instructor.
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